Teacher: When was Rome built?
Teacher: Who told you that?
老师：罗马是什么时候建成的？
老师：谁告诉你的？
汤姆：是您埃您说过罗马不是在一个白天建成的。
2.He Knows the Answer 他知道答案
Teacher: Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century?
Pupil: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead.
教师：你能告诉我一些有关十八世纪的伟大科学家的事情吗？
学生：我能，先生。他们都死了。
3.Where do babies come from? 小孩从哪里来？
I asked my father where babies come from.
He says you download them from the Internet.
我问爸爸小孩是从哪里来的，他说是从网上下载的。
4.An Essential Correction 实质性的纠正
Teacher: Walter, why don’t you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.
Walter: What was it?
Teacher: Eggs.
Walter: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday.
老 师：沃尔特，你为什么不洗脸?我看得出你今天早饭吃了什么。
沃尔特：我吃了什么？
老 师：鸡蛋。
沃尔特：错了，老师。那是昨天吃的。
5. I Don’t Feel Like Getting into an Argument 我不想争论
“Gerald,” asked the teacher, “what is the shape of the earth?”
“Its round,” answered Gerald.
“How do you know its round?” continued the teacher.
“All right, it’s square then,” he replied, “ I really dont feel like getting into an argument about it!”
“杰拉尔德，”老师说，“地球是什么形状的？”
“是圆形的，”杰拉尔德回答。
“你怎么知道是圆的？”老师继续问。
“好，那就是方的吧，”他回答说。“我真的不想和您争论这件事1
6.Three Reasons 三个理由
Teacher: Bob, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.
Bob: Mum says so, Dad says so, and you say so!
老师：鲍勃，说出三条理由来证实地球是圆的。
鲍勃：妈妈是这么说的，爸爸是这么说的，您也是这么说的！
7.Who Should be Given the Present? 礼物该给谁？
A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked
which one of them should be given the present, “Who is the most obedient,
never talks back to mother and does everything he or she is told?” he
inquired. There was silence and then a chorus of voices: “You play with it,
Daddy!”
一个有五个孩子的父亲带着一件玩具回到家里，把孩子们召集来问这件礼物应该给谁。“谁最听话，从不和妈妈顶嘴，让干什么就干什么？”他问道。
大家都不吭声。过了一会儿，孩子们异口同声地说：“爸爸，您玩儿吧。”
8.Big Head 大脑袋
“All the kids make fun of me,” The boy cried to his mother. “They say I
have a big head.”
“Dont listen to them,” his mother consoled. “You have a beautiful
head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes.”
“Wheres the shopping bag?”
“I havent got one, use your hat.”
“所有的孩子都拿我取乐，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说。“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了,
去到店里买10磅土豆来。”
“兜子在哪儿呢？” “我没有兜子——就用你的帽子吧。”
9.To Open the Door 开门
Leaving my four-year-old son in the house, I ran out to throw something in
the trash. When I tried to open the door to get back inside, it was locked.
I knew that insisting that my son open the door would have been resulted
in an hour-long battle of wills. So in a sad voice, I said, “Oh, too badYou just
locked yourself in the house.”
The door opened at once.
我把四岁的儿子留在屋里，跑出去把垃圾倒在垃圾桶里。当我回来开门时，
门被反锁住了。
我知道，如果我要坚持让孩子打开门，不跟他折腾一个多小时是不可能的。
所以我就用非常伤心地声音说：“噢，太糟糕了。你把自己锁在屋里了。”
门立刻就打开了。
10.Bedtime Prayers 睡前祷告词
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. “Please God,” she said, “Make
Naples the capital of Italy.”
Her mother interrupted and said. “Julie, why do you want God to make
Naples the capital of Italy?”
And Julie replied, “Because that’s what I put in my geography exam!”
朱莉叶在做睡前祈祷。“祷告上帝。”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的
首都吧。让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”
妈妈打断她说：“朱莉叶，你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都
朱莉叶回答说：“因为我的地理考卷上是这么写的。”
求一年级小学生都会读的英语故事，2分钟，快快快快快快快快快快快快快快
我找了好多The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"
A: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
B: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
A:猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？
B:猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。
A:Which is the strongest creature in the world?
B: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
A:世界上最强壮的动物是什么?
B:蜗牛.因为它可以把自己的房子放在背上.
A: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
B: Keep him awake.
A:怎样才能不让梦游者梦游呢？
B:不让他睡觉.
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"
Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.
学的越多,知道的越多, 知道的越多,忘记的越多, 忘记的越多,知道的越少,为什么学来着?!
Marry Had A Little Lamb
玛丽有只小羊羔
Marry had a little lamb,
玛丽有只小羊羔，
little lamb, little lamb.
小羊羔呀小羊羔。
Marry had a little lamb,
玛丽有只小羊羔，
its fleece was bright as snow.
羊毛白亮如雪花。
Everywhere that mary went.
玛丽无论走到哪，
mary went, mary went.
走到哪，走到哪。
Everywhere that mary went.
无论玛丽走到哪，
the lamb was sure to go.
小羊羔都跟随她。
It followed her to school one day.
有天跟她去学校，
school one day, school one day.
去学校呀去学校。
It followed her to school one day.
有天跟她去学校，
which is against the rule.
坏了学校的规矩。
It made the children laugh and play.
它让孩子笑又闹，
laugh and play, laugh and play.
笑又闹，闹又笑。
It made the children laugh and play.
它让孩子笑又闹，
to see a lamb at school.
羊羔来校真可笑。
（这是一首英文歌，学得也快，你不妨试试，可以当成讲故事）
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